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Friday, February 10, 2017

Pain

So, lately I'm having this kinda weird sickness, very close to bulimia, but it's not.

I googled bulimia and anorexia, thinking that I, for some reasons, am having this mental crisis leads to eating disorder. I'm a picky eater but I'm also quite a foodie. I mean, I love food.

So, that's definitely not the case. I'm neither bulimic nor anorexic. Alhamdulillah.

I'm having these weird symptoms for months already. It creeps me out thinking that I have serious disease. Seriously. So, for months, I often vomit right after having a meal. Breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, supper. Mostly during lunch time. It's not like I want to vomit, but it did w/o my consent. And I hate vomiting so much since it makes me out of breath for seconds and it's painful.

I did asked my friends, I went to clinic, I did some minor checkups, everything is normal. Doctor said that I might have stressed myself too much on something so it affects my eating habit, leads to eating disorder and stomachache. But seriously, I don't have stomachache. I just throw up everything I ate, after meals.

At first, I felt good because I lost kilos of my weight, but it didn't look good when the weight keep decreasing due to something I don't even know. It's upsetting for not knowing what's wrong with your own body. And the doctor's consultation doesn't really help.

I've had enough with myself having this kind of severe headache sometimes, migraine and menstrual pain, and now this.

"Allah nak uji. Redha."

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