Tuesday, October 11, 2016


Insecure bila kawan-kawan kau semua dah kahwin dan kau buat keputusan to pick any guy in your life dan ajak dia kahwin.

*that's not really applicable to me since you're not just 'any guy'.

Tapi mungkin betul.
Mungkin desakan family.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Sketches of Life

4 January 2016

It has been months, almost a year. This path that I chose, is a path that not even once appear in my life's schedule. I planned to graduate on time, after 4 years struggled with my Degree, but it didn't happened as I planned. I even put 25 as my marriage year, although I haven't reach it yet, I know it's going to be different (though I did not put any name on my schedule). I planned to get a job in an audit/accounting firm, I failed. I attended not less than 5 ivs in 3 months, they ditched me. I was rejected in many ways. They said they need my degree transcripts, they need me with at least 2 years experiences, they 'suddenly' had no vacant position for me etc etc. I'm good. I still can eat and sleep soundly.

Allahu akbar. He is the Greatest above all. While I'm struggling with life, looking for a job, while attending classes on weekends, one day (the day when I was rejected again in my iv) I came back home near lunch time. And there was this Haji in front of my house, talking with my mother about neighbourhood activities or sth. He's my ustaz since I was very small, barely to walk and talk. Haji asked me what am I doing for a living? I said, I just started my life, though not yet 'start' because I just got rejected. So he said,"Jadi guru di sekolah saya. Sementara dapat kerja bagus. Boleh mula bulan depan." So I was this the answer from Allah for what I've been going through? I accept it wholeheartedly.

Second month, Haji asked me to help him out at SRI he just opened because there's no teacher to teach std 1 evening session. So the first day, I went there w/o any preparation with a mindset 'I'm gonna temporarily teaching here until they find new teacher'. And so my journey as a kindergarten teacher/religious school teacher began.

Allah's plans for me are the Greatest and Smoothest.

9 October 2016. 10 months.
Yes I cried a lot, I laughed a lot and I've caught a fever like 100 times. Every job, every thing we worked on has it's own flaws, but it gives us great times with great memories and great profits. But it depends on how we treat the job we have. Either to cherish it to our very own point of satisfaction, or to live with it and let it drives us without knowing our goal ahead.

حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل فنعم المولى ونعم النصير. ربي يسر ولا تعسر.

I don't know about tomorrow. I don't know about next year. I need to reschedule everything in my life. I may not getting married in 2 3 years ahead. I don't know. I may stay as a teacher though Imma accounting degree holder. I don't care anymore. I leave everything into Allah's hands and let Him drive me to the best path that's meant to be mine. Allah's with me.

I wrote this, so that in the future I'll remember how Great Allah is, to clean my way to reach Him, for always answer my du'a when everyone's refuse to listen to my problems, for always being with me all the times when everyone's busy with their life and forgot about me.

I won't ask for more, though I thought I need more. Allah knows the best for me. I have my lovely family, my gorgeous divas by my side, my sweet nailah, my best boyfies, my awesome nerdies and my fellow (teachers) friends. How could I ask for more? Maluuuu...

Surah Al-Rahman, Verse 18:
فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
"Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny?"

Monday, May 16, 2016

Seize The Day

I was once a rebel who loves this kind of songs. I still do, for some certain songs that means so much to me.

This is one of 'em.

I found this awesome recording of "avenged sevenfold - seize the day" on #Smule: #SingKaraoke

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


Living a life means learning. Kau akan berhenti belajar bila kau berhenti bernafas. Dan akan bermula ujian kau di alam lain.

Every single thing yg jadi dalam hidup kau adalah pelajaran.

Bila kau jatuh, kau belajar utk bangun.
Bila kau sakit, kau belajar utk amalkan gaya hidup sihat.
Bila kau sedih, kau belajar utk gembirakan org.
Bila kau sunyi, kau belajar utk menghargai.
Bila kau lapar, kau belajar utk cari makan.
Bila kau marah, kau belajar utk sabar.

Never give up and be strong. Semua yg berlaku dlm hidup kau adalah proses pembelajaran. Kita belajar benda baru setiap hari. Tak mudah nak hidup. Tapi Allah ajar dah. Kita belajar utk survive.

Jangan pernah rasa down, putus asa, kecewa dgn diri sendiri. Sebab ada org lain yg masih boleh bahagia walaupun serba kurang. Allah bagi kita umur setiap hari, kita survive, bangun setiap pagi, Allah bagi peluang utk kita belajar lg. Jangan sia-siakan peluang yg Allah bagi ni. Jangan merenung nasib sampai hilang pedoman.

Bersyukurlah, apa pun ujian yg datang. Sayangnya Allah kat kita, bila kita kadang² lupa kat Dia pun, dia masih bagi kita bernafas. Bersyukurlah dalam sekecil² perkara sekalipun.

Semoga redha Allah sentiasa bersama kita.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Reason or No Reason?

I've always said this to myself, "Everything happens for a reason. At least a reason. Find it. And go through it."

But there's one thing I couldn't think any reason why does it happened. It happened. Yes. But why. Idk.

And there goes my omg-what's-wrong-with-me episode starts again.

It isn't cool, babe. It's like waiting for a pepperoni pizza in warung saleha. You'd never get any pizzas. And warung saleha is actually a warung-tepi-jalan style.

Maybe I was really disappointed because I didn't get what I want. But hey, you're not always get what you want. Sometimes not-getting-what-you-want is the answer of getting what you need. It's all in Allah's hand, babe. Why bother?

I don't know if this matters, but Mir, my bebi best girlfriend, thanks. For willing to listen those sobbings n crying(s) n craps n all that for almost 5 years. Hahah. It's quite sometimes. Kau mmg gila sbb masih mampu tadah telinga.

Even though I've always have these positive thoughts in my mind, like, all the time, I'm still in the period of i-need-to-let-em-go-but-damn-how-omg. So. That's it.

The episode continues, I'm still listening and watching those videos. For some reasons, sometimes, it calms me. And thanks.


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