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Monday, November 28, 2016

Degree, checked!

Untuk empat tahun yg penuh dengan suka duka air mata dan gelak tawa bersama sohabat sohabat, belajar erti hidup sbg seorang siswi yg saban waktu merempat di perhentian bas utk pergi balik kelas, pagi bawak ke malam. Momen² derita bila esaimen kena submit lagi 3 hari tapi rumah kena rompak dan laptop kena curi. Momen² indah bila berjimba masa study week dan momen² gelisah bila topik yg kau tak baca tiba² keluar masa final. Juga momen² lelah kendalikan iceps dan imec khususnya.
Lelah.
Untuk satu tahun yg kehilangan diri sendiri utk sementara. Dan setahun yg manis bersama anak² tercinta.
Terima kasih, Allah.
Terima kasih Ma.
Terima kasih Ayah.
Terima kasih alongangahalangatehadikintan.
Terima kasih sohabat².
Terima kasih sebab selalu ada.
.
Ijazah yg cuma sekeping kertas.
Terima dengan cuma 10 saat di pentas.
Penuh dgn emosi.
.
Degree, checked.
Lepas ni, Allah je tahu.
Mati dulu. Kawen dulu. Tukar kerja dulu. Beli rumah dulu.
.
Masih dlm usaha utk attend kelas agama dgn Ma. Moga Allah mudahkan.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Bukan Cinta Biasa (baca:luarbiasa)

Dah settle.

That one silly mistake yg aku duk repeat dr dulu ialah, got crushed on my very own best friend pastu pi confess naharom.
Both. Ended tragically.
Tragic dia kat aku la.
Depa relek ja.
The first one, longing like crazy jugak la sebelum berjaya move on dgn bergaya.
The current one, mungkin this time orangnya very honest dan bukan species memberi harapan, maka it takes only few days la.
.
.
And once again, hidup aye kembali ceria. Matahari bersinar seperti sinarnya hati aye menghadapi hari² mendatang. Bulan bercahaya seperti bercahayanya harapan aye agar lepas ni tak crush dgn member sendiri lagi kahkah.

At 24, aku dah patut stop fikir ttg hidup berdua walau berdua lebih baik. Bullshit. Aku peduli apa. Semoga kejayaan kedua ini adalah yg terakhir. Amiin.

So fath and seth. Farewell. 😇

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Insekiyaw.

Insecure bila kawan-kawan kau semua dah kahwin dan kau buat keputusan to pick any guy in your life dan ajak dia kahwin.

*that's not really applicable to me since you're not just 'any guy'.

Tapi mungkin betul.
Mungkin desakan family.
Mungkin.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Sketches of Life

4 January 2016

It has been months, almost a year. This path that I chose, is a path that not even once appear in my life's schedule. I planned to graduate on time, after 4 years struggled with my Degree, but it didn't happened as I planned. I even put 25 as my marriage year, although I haven't reach it yet, I know it's going to be different (though I did not put any name on my schedule). I planned to get a job in an audit/accounting firm, I failed. I attended not less than 5 ivs in 3 months, they ditched me. I was rejected in many ways. They said they need my degree transcripts, they need me with at least 2 years experiences, they 'suddenly' had no vacant position for me etc etc. I'm good. I still can eat and sleep soundly.

Allahu akbar. He is the Greatest above all. While I'm struggling with life, looking for a job, while attending classes on weekends, one day (the day when I was rejected again in my iv) I came back home near lunch time. And there was this Haji in front of my house, talking with my mother about neighbourhood activities or sth. He's my ustaz since I was very small, barely to walk and talk. Haji asked me what am I doing for a living? I said, I just started my life, though not yet 'start' because I just got rejected. So he said,"Jadi guru di sekolah saya. Sementara dapat kerja bagus. Boleh mula bulan depan." So I was like...is this the answer from Allah for what I've been going through? I accept it wholeheartedly.

Second month, Haji asked me to help him out at SRI he just opened because there's no teacher to teach std 1 evening session. So the first day, I went there w/o any preparation with a mindset 'I'm gonna temporarily teaching here until they find new teacher'. And so my journey as a kindergarten teacher/religious school teacher began.

Allah's plans for me are the Greatest and Smoothest.

9 October 2016. 10 months.
Yes I cried a lot, I laughed a lot and I've caught a fever like 100 times. Every job, every thing we worked on has it's own flaws, but it gives us great times with great memories and great profits. But it depends on how we treat the job we have. Either to cherish it to our very own point of satisfaction, or to live with it and let it drives us without knowing our goal ahead.

حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل فنعم المولى ونعم النصير. ربي يسر ولا تعسر.

I don't know about tomorrow. I don't know about next year. I need to reschedule everything in my life. I may not getting married in 2 3 years ahead. I don't know. I may stay as a teacher though Imma accounting degree holder. I don't care anymore. I leave everything into Allah's hands and let Him drive me to the best path that's meant to be mine. Allah's with me.

I wrote this, so that in the future I'll remember how Great Allah is, to clean my way to reach Him, for always answer my du'a when everyone's refuse to listen to my problems, for always being with me all the times when everyone's busy with their life and forgot about me.

I won't ask for more, though I thought I need more. Allah knows the best for me. I have my lovely family, my gorgeous divas by my side, my sweet nailah, my best boyfies, my awesome nerdies and my fellow (teachers) friends. How could I ask for more? Maluuuu...

Surah Al-Rahman, Verse 18:
فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
"Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny?"

Monday, May 16, 2016

Seize The Day

I was once a rebel who loves this kind of songs. I still do, for some certain songs that means so much to me.

This is one of 'em.




I found this awesome recording of "avenged sevenfold - seize the day" on #Smule: http://www.smule.com/p/90945279_157254841 #SingKaraoke

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